Greenhair

I would like to share a little story. This is the kind of tale that has a lasting impact and will be burried in the folds of your mind for times to come.

Its a story as old as time...that began about four to five years ago. I was in my early twenties and was presently employed by Blockbuster Video. At this time I was well connected with certain individuals and they came to rely on me for any number of responsibilities. Alas, it is such a cirumstance where the rising action takes place.

I was asked to help close down one of the stores in our district. Now trust me when I tell you that this is not as grandeose as it sounds, it involves a lot of heavy lifting and moving shit. So here I am one sunny summer morning loading a Uhaul full of various items one might find in your typical retail outlet. We needed to transport our cargo to a holding facility and unload, and I was chosen to drive, so I was the leader if you will.

There was another fine fellow that was chosen to accompany me, a man whom I did not know, but I would learn all I would ever need to know about him soon enough. We are cruising down 5 file at a moderate speed when we came to an intersection whereas I proceeded to venture in the left hand turn lane. It was here my compannion would shock me. He observed a young man skateboarding down the sidewalk and with a swiftness I had not deemed probable, he rolled down his window and shouted "Greenhair...asswhole."

Needless to say I was floored, I was not sure what to say so I promptly closed my mouth and proceeded to say nothing, however this little outburst by a man whom I couldn't pick out of a lineup, has had a lasting influence on me, and I daresay on many of those around me.

Let me explain: you see ever since that day the word asswhole and greenhair have become synonymous in my mind. I have uttered the term greenhair on a fairly regular basis ever since, and have encouraged others to pick up the call as well. It started small with my friend Butters, when we would see some walking, we would simply roll down our windows and shout "greenhair", befuddleling all who would come across our path.

So here I am now, years later and I am still uttering that phrase, telling all who would here the tale and encouraging them to also adopt this phrase. In truth I can be in a room and hear that very phrase uttered and the response of asswhole, its like a secret call to all those that know about its true meaning.

There is a trick to saying it however. You cannot simply shout greenhair in your regular tone, you have to drop it a tone or two. Also you have to slow down the speech and kind of say it out of one side of your mouth, it is then that you will have mastered it.

As I look back on this incident that has had such a profound exposure to me, I can't help but think that my companion was infact the one with greenhair. Metaphorically speaking of course.